If you are dating with the aim of getting married, then this article is prepared for you. However, even if you are already married and are looking to figure out if you are in a toxic environment then this will article will also serve you well.
Do not only evaluate your partner through this article but also yourself. Look if any of these signs can be seen in you or your partner. I would advise you genuinely change for the better as soon as possible before your partner reads this article!
1. Lack Of Good Communication
I will start here by saying if your partner doesn’t want to have a serious conversation it may be because of you. For example, I personally am not a fan of shouting during conversations. No matter how angry the other person is if I know they have a tendency to shout while angry I will avoid talking to them when I notice that they are. So I usually keep my mouth shut and wait for that person to cool down.
Secondly, if your partner continuously avoids conversations, especially about serious matters in your relationship, then you should be very worried. It could be that they either don’t consider the problem a priority or it hurts them and they are deciding not to let it out, waiting to do it at a later time. Both of these two are not good for your relationship.
2. Doubting Your Faith
To those who date people of a different faith, If since you have started dating, your faith is constantly being shaken, then you are in trouble. If you used to believe in God or had other faith, and now you constantly keep doubting everything, then it is often not a good sign.
Feeling that your partner is right and you are not? then step out of that relationship, and see if you will have the same views on faith and beliefs. You can get back into that relationship after you have made your decision about your faith.
Wishing to grow your faith, you might be interested in reading GROWING YOUR FAITH
3. Continuous Abuse
Are you being sexually, emotionally, physically, or mentally abused? An example of sexual abuse would be, your partner always forcing you to have sex with them even when you don’t feel like it or clearly state to them that you are not feeling well.
Your partner can also emotionally abuse you by undermining your family, your weaknesses or always making everything a joke even though it hurts you and they know it. They could physically abuse you by hitting you or showing dominance to make you feel scared.
Lastly, they could mentally abuse you by always playing games and being sarcastic or saying things in a language you can’t understand or in a way that makes you feel lost (or blackmailing you, even in a joking way e.g., if you don’t do this I will send your picture, or I will tell on you about this or that).
Facing any of these? you would be better off stepping out of that relationship to breathe. If it is a breach of your rights or you feel helpless it is best that you involve a few people like family, or lawyers so they can advise and help on the best ways to handle it.
4. Presence Of Disrespect
How can you tolerate disrespect? No, they will not change now after a few years of you trying! It’s time to let go. If you are being disrespected in your relationship, you will also be disrespected in your marriage. Most people get caught up in the “They Will Change” denial state until it’s too late, don’t be one of these people.
Everyone knows when they are being disrespected. You can feel it. Respect is the core of every dating relationship or any relationship for that matter. I hope you can respect yourself enough to not allow anyone to disrespect you!
5. Dishonesty and Mistrust
Can you stand dishonest people? then why are you still dating your dishonest partner? It is time you grow up and realize that dishonest people are harmful people in a relationship. You will be in an even more dangerous position when you end up with the same person in marriage.
Also, try to avoid partners that play with your mind. Partners who make you feel like you are stupid and crazy for getting angry when they are dishonest with you are not good people. Especially when they make you feel like they did it because you get mad when you hear the truth! as if that truth was that they were late because they went to get a take-out for you!
I personally can’t stand dishonest people. Especially when they decide to make it a habit. What about you? Can you stand it? You can reply by clicking here
6. Extreme/No Jealousy and Control
Another sign to look for is if you have a partner who is just extremely jealous to a level that brings you discomfort. At the same time, beware of a partner who is never jealous at all. Both are dangerous and should be avoided in your relationship.
On the other hand, it can be very frustrating when your partner is over-controlling. It can be even more frustrating when your partner is not controlling at all. I don’t know about you, but I prefer it when partners actually have control over each other. That way they can shape each other for the better. But too much control to a level where one loses their identity is definitely a no for me.
7. Stagnation in Growth
Is your relationship helping you to grow? Does it help you to positively grow into a better person or is it always hindering your growth and causing you to become worse? These are important questions to ask yourself.
Stay away from partners that don’t want you to positively grow and become a better person. Also, date a partner that you feel supports your growth as a couple and wants you to both become better people in every way possible. If all you have been doing is living in the moment, then maybe you won’t get a chance to grow as fast.
8. Losing Your Core Principles
Before getting into a relationship, you had principles. Perhaps it was you will not allow your partner to disrespect you more than twice. After more than ten times of being disrespected, why would you still be with the same partner?
Principles and character are a vital part of our humanity and our lives. In a relationship, as you try to compromise, make sure you don’t lose the principles that make you who you are, or the principles that make you a better person. Don’t compromise to become worse, but a better person.
9. Financial Dependency or Overspending
Whether it’s planned or not, it’s a burden for one partner in a relationship to always cover all or most of the cost. Especially when the other partner is not showing any interest in increasing their income so they can better take part in your bills as a couple. If your partner chooses to refuse to work so they can support you and themselves, then you might need to rethink if they are best for you.
As time goes on, things change and money is becoming more important to sustain our lives. Sharing expenses will bring spending discipline in a relationship, and reduce conflicts but also will increase security in case one of you either gets sick, loses your life, or becomes permanently ill.
Beware if your partner is also taking care of all expenses and denying you to do so. It could be that they want you to be dependent on them, and fail to sustain yourself if you leave them. It is hardly the case for most couples but just beware.
10. Hyena complex
I am not even going to search if that is a real term out there. What I know is that hyenas eat almost anything. Your relationship is toxic if you are dealing with a partner who is always putting themself out there. Always flirting with other people or showing interest in them. Worse, cheating or asking you to have an open relationship.
Dangerously, some mask it as “being a charming person”. There is a big difference between charm and “charm”, do you get it? If they really love you and feel satisfied with the love that they get from you, they will not be putting themselves out there!
11. Lack Of Support
Avoid a relationship where you feel little or no support. As a human, it is right to have desires, ambitions, and aspirations. Do not let your relationship be a hindrance to these things. If you feel that you want to work on some things, just do so.
It’s true that you will have to avoid some ambitions and interests while in a relationship, depending on your and your partner’s agreements but do not let it be everything. Your partner should respect your ambitions and support you to achieve them, if possible they could even take part in them.
12. Manipulative Behaviours
The most dangerous relationships are those that one is manipulated to think that they are in control while they aren’t. You may be against drinking, and your partner says you are no fun because you don’t drink! You are probably being manipulated into doing it.
A lot of partners in toxic relationships get manipulated into doing things that they completely disgust and resent. Evaluate your relationship to see if you are really in control, or if you are just being manipulated into doing things (Including always spending more than you should on your partner).
Sometimes manipulative partners will make you do something wrong and make you think that it was your idea, to make you feel bad. The worst manipulators are those that do not want to take part in owning up to your mutual mistakes.
*A Free Bonus*
Your family and friends usually know if you have a great partner. If you are not a people person, then you have at least one person who really cares about you. If they have been constantly telling you that you seem less happy, or frustrated or that they think you are not with the right person, you should be more alert.
A lot of us get defensive when our friends point out our partner to be a bad person, forgetting that those people were there with us before we started dating this partner that we are protecting. Instead of jumping to conclusions that our friends or family are jealous, let us give them a chance to explain to us why they have that opinion. You could be surprised, at what you find out!!
Toxic relationships are dangerous for you. I personally have been in toxic relationships before and I am glad that they are now in the past. Unless you are looking for short-term pleasure which I strongly do not recommend, relationships are a lifetime commitment. Stop wasting time and make a positive change for yourself now.
Feeling your relationship has caused you to lose your way from God and would like to learn how to grow your faith again? Click here to read the article Growing Your Faith and if you are a student and would like to become a millionaire in the future you might be interested to read Student Millionaire Mindset. If you would like to share a comment with me about this article you can message me directly on Telegram
Stay tuned for the following article in relationships Escaping Toxic Powered Relationships